“There is still so much to learn” or how to move forward when you struggle with impatience, overwhelm, and frustration in language learning

Feeling overwhelmed with your language learning journey? Try EFT!

The more I read about this topic, the more I think about it, the more I realise just how complex it is. It really sits at the core of language learning—and it’s deeply tied to motivation, whether internal or external, and to each person’s individual situation, the how and the why behind their journey.

This feeling of overwhelm and frustration can easily take over—whether when we’re trying to express ourselves in conversation, reading a book and skipping over half the words because we still can’t make sense of them, or suddenly discovering while shoe shopping that even though we can handle everyday topics, this new situation requires a totally different vocabulary: stripes, soles, laces... And there we are again—frustrated, thinking, “When will I ever get there?” or “Why can’t I be there yet?” Maybe that’s even accompanied by a sense of hopelessness, because we are doing the work: attending classes, reading books, having conversations, stepping out of our comfort zone… and yet, it feels as if the train isn’t moving, despite all the effort, time, and energy we’re putting in.

I got curious about how other people deal with this feeling, so I posted in a few online communities, looking for ideas, insight, maybe a bit of practical advice. I even revisited my old academic books on language teaching to find anything related to this struggle. After reading countless posts, articles, and research papers, I came to the conclusion that language learning—and maintaining motivation—is a highly individual journey. Many hacks and strategies have their place (and I’ll share some later), but despite understanding the value of these tips intellectually, they didn’t quite land emotionally.

I read through them thinking, “Oh yes, sounds good… but no,” because my head was full of noise. The critical voices were too loud: “You’re already doing so much, but you still make so many mistakes,” “Whatever you do, it’s never enough,” “Why would this work when so many things haven’t?” or “Sounds great in theory, but do I even have time for this?”

That’s when I turn to tapping (EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique). Tapping helps break through the hardened ground formed by years of frustration, disappointment, and self-criticism. Once I start tapping through the points and acknowledging how I feel, I often begin to feel calmer. After a few rounds, I might even begin to explore more deeply—when have I felt this frustration before? Sometimes, my body takes me back to childhood.

Maybe there was that moment when I was seven, reading out loud in class, and I couldn’t pronounce a word. And I still remember the feeling of all those eyes on me. My body kept that memory and now triggers a fear response whenever something feels even vaguely similar. No wonder I feel stuck—it’s my body trying to keep me safe.

(If you want to try tapping yourself, you can check out the full script I shared around “confidence” in last month’s post.)

But when I allow myself to really feel into that memory and let it move through me—when it loses its emotional charge and just becomes a memory like any other—then something shifts. Only once I release these old emotions—those linked to painful memories—can I begin to plant new seeds. I get a new perspective. And I start to feel curious again:

What if it’s okay to take my time with this? What if making mistakes is part of it? Maybe it’s okay to go slowly.

Maybe I don’t have to be perfect. Maybe I can just enjoy the process. Maybe I can try some of those hacks. Maybe I can even appreciate how far I’ve already come.

So here we go—lets plant some seeds and look at some of the tips and ideas I came across:

As I mentioned, motivation and progress are tricky. Depending on where you are in your language journey, “progress” might look very different. There’s something called the plateau effect—you’re still learning, but it doesn’t feel like it. And honestly, language learning is often slow. You might not notice the changes day by day.

And what does “language learning” even mean? I’ve read in so many posts: Perfection doesn’t exist. (That probably deserves its own post.) But let’s say it loud and clear: learning a language takes time. It takes dedication, effort—and let’s be honest—it can take sweat and tears too. While comparison is something we know we should avoid, it’s so easy to fall into that trap. Reading about someone who got to B2 in six months might feel inspiring for some, but for most of us with jobs, partners, kids, or social lives, it just creates unrealistic expectations.

So let’s keep it real. Here are some ways to track your progress and stay motivated:

Track your progress with SMART goals SMART = Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Example: If you’re studying at a language school, your goal might be to pass a specific exam. Or you could set your own personalized goal:

• Love books or films? Create a list of what you want to read or watch over the next month or year. Add tasks like writing down key vocabulary, or reflecting on the content in a short paragraph. Maybe even join a book or film club.

• Read one article a week and find someone to discuss it with.

• Create a vocab list and work toward memorizing it. (Ideally, learn new words in context—find example sentences to understand usage.)

  
  

Build systems, not just goals As I’ve mentioned in a blogpost here, many people suggest focusing on systems rather than outcomes. Instead of setting a goal like “Read a 400-page book this month” (which can feel overwhelming and might lead you to abandon the book all together because it just takes up too much of your time), create a habit like “Read 20 minutes every other day” and spend 30 minutes weekly on vocab from that book. Then track your time in a journal or app. Progress!

Define what progress means to you

What does being a beginner, intermediate, or advanced learner look like for you? What would it mean to make progress? Take time to reflect:

• What skills do you want to improve—listening, reading, writing, speaking, pronunciation?

• What’s your schedule? Which methods work for you?

• Create a simple roadmap for your learning based on this reflection.

  
  

Use a language journal

Track what you’re working on, how much time you’ve spent, and celebrate your efforts. Write down the books you’ve read, the classes you’ve attended, the conversations you’ve had. It can be hugely motivating. And remember to celebrate the small wins—we often forget how far we’ve come because we’re focused on everything that still feels imperfect.

Give yourself a pat on the back: you’ve shown up for yourself and that deserves recognition.

Finally: Follow the joy

This idea really resonated with me. Language learning is personal. You get to decide what it looks like. Skip the boring grammar drills if they don’t work for you—write about that film you loved, summarize the book you just read, or use a review to help with new vocab.

This is your journey. Explore what “follow the joy” means for you—and go do it. Celebrate it. Language learning is exciting and mind-expanding. It creates new neural pathways, opens up new worlds—why not enjoy the process?

And when you feel stuck or overwhelmed, try this:

Sit for a moment. Tune into your body. Start tapping: “Even though I’m so impatient and frustrated because I still can’t follow this conversation, I am open to having compassion for myself.” The tools are right there at your fingertips—use them. Move the stuck energy. Find more ease. We've got this!